Sunday, March 18, 2007

Of Advice and Time

You know how older people (no matter how old you are, there is always someone older) are always telling you tidbits of advice they've gathered throughout the years? Like to "not worry about the little things" and to "take time to stop and smell the roses", and other things to that effect? And you know full well that they are trying to spare you heart-ache, and trouble, and lost years? And you listen to them and nod and are completely well-meaning in wanting to heed their advice and learn from their mistakes, right? Fast forward, X-number of months/years later and it suddenly dawns on you that what you actually learned from your lost years and your lost chances is that you need not "worry about the little things" and that you should take time to "stop and smell the roses". What I'm saying here, is that advice is great, but for me, it has only really made a difference in retrospect. In those moments where a light bulb turns on upstairs and I realize all of a sudden what my uncle was talking about nearly a decade ago when he told me that it is important to marry someone who believes in God the same way that you do, is something that I look at now and say, "Yes, Uncle Fred, I know." Because I ended up marrying a man who thought NOTHING more important in life than that I know Jesus as my Lord.

Right around the time Isaac and I were married, I received so much advice from friends and family about how to have a good marriage: take time for yourself every once in a while, encourage him to do the same, respect him as the leader of your family, encourage each other in your endeavors. Then little bit, by little bit, over the course of 3+ years, more light bulbs have started to turn on, and this advice comes flooding back.

I sat in the front pew at church today, which I don't think I've ever done. We usually sit toward the back (mostly so we have a quick exit for a Sophia emergency). But today, I sat up front to hear my husband preach a sermon. He is not a preacher, but was asked by our pastor to take the place this Sunday morning. It was hard for him to say yes, and I saw that, so I tried to justify him saying no, letting him know that it would be completely reasonable to do so. In the end, though, he agreed to do it. I sat there this morning and listened to his words, and I laughed and cried and nodded my head countless times as he spoke about physical light that was created by God, and the metaphorical light of the Savior, and then related stories of his own experiences in being a light to the world around him. All of a sudden, the biggest light of all was turned on. I thought if I could go back in time to give myself any marriage advice, I'd tell myself to "encourage my husband to let the Lord work in him". I'd tell myself to "allow each other to take chances for the Lord", and to "be a light to this world through Jesus our King".

Not that it would have done any good, anyway, but I'm glad to see it now.

8 Comments:

Blogger Sally in Alaska said...

I wish I could have been in the second pew. There's almost nothing better than hearing people you know speak from the heart. As for your advice to yourself. Most excellent.

March 18, 2007 7:04 PM  
Blogger realityjunkie said...

You are so right BE. If only we could go back in time and give our past self good advice based on what we know now. You must have been so proud to watch TMF up there. I didn't know he was going to do that, that is so awesome. I'm glad he said yes.

March 18, 2007 9:03 PM  
Blogger auntibeck said...

And all those many "yes" answers to the Lord later, you see how God works in each individual heart--what an amazing God! While He works in your husband's heart to say "yes," He was working in yours so you could hear for yourself the reason God wanted TMF to say "yes," and then all of us sometimes say "yes" when part of us wants to say "no!" Then over here in my home, the Lord is teaching me to say "yes," while He's teaching my husband to say "yes" and then Chind said "yes," and Coolskool said "yes," and here is Realityjunkie who said "yes" just yesterday in her pew....hmmmmnnnn God is good!

March 19, 2007 5:16 AM  
Blogger auntibeck said...

Comment from the Encourager
This weekend I was as proud as any Dad could be knowing my two sons were allowing themselves to share God's word. Thanks Isaac and Freddy.
My advice comes from Paul's encouragement to his son in the faith ,Timothy.
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1Timothy 4:12

March 19, 2007 8:06 AM  
Blogger auntibeck said...

BE - This the Encourager -
I love the way you express yourself and laugh out loud at the antics and sayings of our sweet Sophia.
I love the way you love the Lord. He is so evident in your life. As Grammy always say's when family members leave " stay close to Jesus".

March 19, 2007 8:17 AM  
Blogger The Mad Fishicist said...

I'm glad I took my own advice and married you. I'm okay with the fact that my best decision ever was a no brainer.

March 19, 2007 12:53 PM  
Blogger Calie said...

How insightful. I can't tell you all the times that I look back and remember somebody warning me about something that I am now understanding....hmmm...you put that so much better than I.

PS>my new avitar, as you called it, was from my wedding day. This is us just as we were to leave the reception for the honeymoon! It is countdown to my anniversary so I thought it appropriate! Thanks for noticing!

March 19, 2007 5:23 PM  
Blogger coolskool mom said...

Hindsight is 20/20

March 20, 2007 11:57 AM  

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